Consent

IC consent refers to interactions between characters. This can include moments of physical affection, combat, or anything that affects another character directly. IC consent allows players to explore their characters' stories while respecting others’ control over their own character.

OOC consent is mandatory and should always be sought before any significant or potentially uncomfortable interaction happens, especially for sensitive topics, romantic or intimate RP, or actions that could be uncomfortable for other players involved. There are times that the flow of the story limits or precludes IC consent. However, even in these instances, OOC consent is absolutely necessary.

A few ways you can do this is by talking about the RP before hand, or sending tells or DMs while RP is going on. This might look like:

• “Hey, I want to make sure you’re comfortable with where the RP is headed. Are you okay with me moving forward with this scene?”

• “I wanted to check in - are you alright with our characters exploring this relationship?”

• “I had an idea where my character might become more aggressive in the next scene. Does that sound okay to you?”

IC consent refers to the agreement between characters within the story, while OOC consent is the agreement between the players behind the characters. Even if something works in the story, both players must be comfortable with it OOC. 

It is important to maintain firm boundaries between IC and OOC, especially in relation to consent. Never assume that consent extends to both IC and OOC situations. For instance, just because a player is comfortable with your character flirting with theirs, it does not mean they are comfortable with you flirting with them (the player) ooc.

This can also be applied to the concept of metagaming. Having knowledge of something OOC does not automatically give you permission to use that knowledge IC. If your character has never met another character, but you know things about them OOC, it is proper to play your character as not knowing anything about the other character. The exception to metagaming, of course, is if you have been given permission to use that information by the character’s player, thus establishing consent.

Assumed consent happens when someone thinks it's okay to take an action without checking first. Even if it seems like the other person might be okay with something, it is never safe to assume. Always check, especially when dealing with more sensitive topics.

It is also important to know that just because one or more people have consent, does not mean that you do. For instance, if you see multiple people cuddling, do not assume it is an open invitation to join them unless you have been told that is the case. Similarly, seeing that someone is comfortable being verbally teased by another person does not mean that they are comfortable with that dynamic with everyone.

Assuming consent can cause a great deal of discomfort and some terribly awkward situations.

Power dynamics, such as leadership roles or players who appear to have more experience, can create subtle pressure in role-play. Even when someone says “yes,” the context matters. Be mindful of these dynamics and ensure that everyone feels they can say no.

How to Manage Power Dynamics:

• Leaders and long time members of the Temple should make extra efforts to ensure they are not pressuring others, even unintentionally.

• Encourage open communication by checking in often.

• Normalizing saying “no” and respecting that boundary when someone is uncomfortable.

Accidents happen, and sometimes consent can be unintentionally broken. If this happens, the most important thing is to handle it quickly and respectfully. When you realize that you have broken consent, these are the steps to follow:

1. If you are still engaged in the RP or discussion where consent was broken, stop immediately. Pause the scene and make sure that everyone involved is okay.

2. Take accountability and acknowledge the mistake. This means taking responsibility for what happened without becoming defensive.

3. Check in with the other person. Ask how they feel and if they’d like to continue, take a break, or stop altogether. And respect their decision without question. If they request space, do not try to make them talk to you. Also do not be upset if they do not immediately accept your apology. It is not their responsibility to make you feel better about making a mistake.

4. Offer aftercare, especially if the scene is intense or emotional.

5. Learn and adjust. Reflect on what led to the mistake and what you could have done differently to prevent it.

Unfortunately, there are times that others are unwilling or unable to clearly express consent. Whether it is due to anxiety, a history of trauma, or other reasons, we do recognize that it is not your responsibility to force someone to be honest about their boundaries and whether or not they consent. However, it IS your responsibility to take every action possible to ensure your RP partners have the opportunity to clearly and freely express their consent and boundaries.

• Non-verbal Cues: Sometimes, RP actions can appear to indicate consent, but this can also lead to misunderstandings. If you are uncertain, it is best to confirm OOC.

• Consent is Flexible: It can be withdrawn or changed at any time for any reason.

• Respect a “No”: No is a complete sentence. Full stop. While it would be great if your RP partners are willing to further discuss boundaries so that discomfort can be avoided in the future, they do not under any circumstances owe you an explanation if they decide to stop a scene and disengage. Also, do not follow up a “no” with another request. If your RP partner is comfortable moving in a different direction, allow them to make that decision without feeling pressured into it.

• Set an Example: The best way to ensure that consent and boundaries are clearly expressed and respected are by you setting an example and leading the way. Don’t be afraid to openly and clearly express your boundaries and limitations.